FY2/SHO Doctor Update

So it's been a year since my first 'doctor' post where I was a FY1/House Officer at a central hospital.  All my rotations were constantly busy and rushed off my feet and full of sick patients but I learned/adapted to enjoy the adrenaline.  I did have further crying breakdowns up until March 2014 where I was actually HAPPY and appreciated what I was doing.  It was midway of my second job in March when the revelation came: Infectious Diseases - septic, immuno-compromised, exotic diseases.  I was doing my own ward rounds most of the time and all the jobs... being devoid of 2-supposed-SHOs.  I really was making a difference and I could recognise it because despite being the 'baby' of the team, I was solely responsible of them all. Yes, the pressure mounted time to time, but I learned to focus on all the positives and picture the patients' smiles.  My last job was the busiest with more sick-patients - a surgical job... but I strangely didn't mind it.


So what else happened over the FY1 year?

1. Mentally/educationally: 
• I became quicker.  I became harder. 
• I knew when and who to escalate to ...asap! (THE ULTIMATE survival skill for all FY1/HOs to take on board)
• Knowing how to prioritize patients ...and myself.
• I had made allies who knew about my working ethic and were there to help me (hail medical registrars!).
• Good note taking is always appreciated.  Also decreases your chances of possible litigation!
2. Physically
• I made sure I drank something and pee'd (...most of the time).
• Accept tea from the nurses/healthcare assistants if the opportunity arrives! Tea calms all qualms.
• (Unfortunately my eating cycle/habits were and still are erratic.)
• Drank less coffee meant less heart palpitations!
• When 'argh-frustrated' and home, I just stripped off into joggers and ran HARD...even if it's just for 5-10 minutes.
• Bubble baths and music.
• Music/herbal aids/wine/whiskey for insomniac nights.
3. Emotionally
• I learned to control my inner chimp (reference to Prof Steve Peters book 'Mind Management'... he lectured me back in university, but I only read his book recently as a FY2/SHO doctor). 
• Learned to not give a damn about those rubbish, responsibility-shafting, scapegoating colleagues. Learned to protect myself.  Stand up against bullying happening to others and yourself at the work place too.
• Let myself cry.  It's normal. 
4. Socially
• I quit alcohol from May 2014 onwards (for 3 months).  Went on night outs still and danced my heart away.  As much as I enjoyed those drunken nights and 6am-McDonalds-feasts, I appreciated not having a wasted day or hangover and that I had more money in my banks account and a healthier liver and stomach.  Gastritis/reflux improved.
• Every free weekend I went to see family or friends. Have fun. Indulged on food or shopping within reason :)
• Bond with other doctors. Make it a nicer environment to work in.  Listen to gossip, offer some of your own gossip.  Offer food. Bring food.  Offer tea!

I think as doctors, we look after so many patients that we forget what we have actually achieved.  We have so much power and control of people's lives that they have entrusted us with.  At the end of the day, as long as YOU are happy that you've saved this person from dying, relieved their suffering or bought them time, that's what most importantly matters (in my books anyway).  Please don't do it in the mindset of solely trying to impress a colleague, earn money, not get into legalities, add it to your CV, etc. - all that superficial blah, if you want to preserve your sanity at the end of the day.

I'm now a surgical FY2/SHO in a district hospital which I LOVE both the hospital and specialty!  I was a previously 'anti-surgery' but now I really enjoy surgery and the simplicity of it all.  I have 1 month left of surgery in my entire career (8 shifts actually!).  I won't be pursuing surgery, but I'm still going to do my Basic Surgical Skills course.  It was £600 out of my own pocket, but I know I'll enjoy it and appreciate having those skills in the future. 

Working environment really makes a difference.  I have such a lovely team, the nicest so far. Being nice makes a difference.  Being around nice people is a pleasure in itself.  You want to look forward to come to work. 

I look at the current FY1s now fondly.  Boy, do you mature a lot more than you think!  Also do you realise just how much you've achieved.  It's nice.  Commendable.  Tetley's aaahhhh.

Yes I still get bored doing the mundane jobs as a SHO still.  Yawn.  Discharge summaries/TTOs.  Dull. Dull. Dull.  Same with E-Portfolio/CV/exams never-ending hoops.

So now I'm at the stage of trying to decide what I want to do with my career and life.  I've done loads of taster days.  I've changed my mind SO many times in these past 3-4 months, it's becoming ridiculous.  I am taking a gap year... maybe two, but I want them to be productive.  I keep flitting from A&E to GP to Medical Registrar (Dermatology, Cardiology, Rheumatology, Sports Medicine) to Radiology.  I know I can and will be a passionate, good doctor... I just need to DECIDE and FOCUS to then just get loads of opportunities in that specialty lined up in this cut-throat-competitive-world-of-medicine!   Also need to get my head down for an exam next year... and I've not touched a book/revised for 19-20 months and I have a restless butt.  Also I need to decide where I want to settle in the future : UK, Australia/NZ, Singapore, Hong Kong, Canada, USA?  I also need to decide on when to fit in boys, settle down, babies, family, house, mortgage, (aka grown up stuff)... if ever!  (Think GP is a good road...)

So yeah, mid-twenties life crisis of an independent girl who highly prioritizes fun and adventures.

More hoops, more struggles, too much choice thus irritating-Life-uncertainties... but on the bright side, I am EXCITED for what Life has in store for me because:

THE WORLD IS YOUR OYSTER.